2009 Nissan Altima Coupe

Based on this coupe's voluptuous looks, you expect it to drive like a bargain-basement Infiniti G37. In fact, it's much more similar to the Pontiac G6 coupe and the Toyota Camry Solara. That makes sense given that the Altima is, like those cars, a variant of a front-wheel-drive sedan, and not a de-contented hot rod built on Nissan's venerable FM platform.

That said, it's still rather disappointing to find out that such a good-looking car drives so plainly. The steering is lifeless and vague. The driveline reminds me a bit of its cousin, but that's not quite a compliment. Like the G37, the manual transmission is balky, with a clutch that's difficult to modulate. The 3.5-liter V-6 provides a familiar cacophony as it grinds and howls its way to redline. But whereas the G37's bigger V-6 at least rewards all that racket with strong performance, the Altima never really feels like it's packing its rated 270 hp. There was a time when the VQ engines were far and away the most powerful on the market, but nowadays many competitors provide similar performance with a lot less noise, vibration, and harshness.

I understand Nissan's quandary. The company wanted to capitalize off the halo of its G37, which enjoys near cult status among young people, without undermining sales of the more expensive car. The Altima coupe probably makes sense in four-cylinder form for folks simply looking for a dose of G-coupe style at a reasonable price. But our loaded tester is nothing short of a con job, costing nearly as much as a base G37 while providing none of the driving experience.

I'll second the notion that this car makes a lot more sense as a four-banger. The Altima coupe looks pretty good inside and out, but there is absolutely no performance to back up the rather attractive curves. Although 270 hp looks good on paper, the front-wheel-drive layout, rather soft springs, and excessive body roll make anything more aggressive than commuting futile. And for this $33,000 sticker, you're well into Mustang/Challenger/Z-car territory, yet those cars offer more power and rear-drive as well as good looks.

Not only do I advocate ordering your Altima coupe with a four-cylinder, I'd also recommend the CVT in place of the manual transmission. Again, when you take out any sporting pretentions, the car is much more palatable. The same goes for the transmission. I can't really drive this manual smoothly, and there's not enough performance to justify the clunky shifts. My past experience with an Altima powered by the smooth four-cylinder/CVT combo was quite good.

Long on style, short on substance. The Altima coupe is the sort of car you wish you could like more, but there just isn't enough oomph to justify anything but a base car, perhaps with some options like a better stereo or leather seats. If you're set on a front-drive coupe, look to the Honda Accord if you enjoy driving even a little bit. If you're looking for a genuine performance car, it's worth the extra money to buy a 370Z.

PORSCHE 911 GT2

Traditionally the scariest car in any given supercar group test is the Lamborghini, but not today. Today it’s the bulging Porsche 911GT2 that’s has my nerves tensed so tight I hear a creaking noise every time I move my arms. It’s the GT2 that seems me so hesitant on the pedals its giving me in growing toenails. In the pouring rain, driving as fast as I can, this car feels sensitive, severe, analogue and pure. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it—I love the way it steers, the way you feel so much road surface through your fingers. You’d have to kneel down and lick the tarmac to get more details. There’s a huge pleasure to be had, just feeling the front wheels unravel a corner into a straight. But the 911’s delicate steering is connected by some kind of German voodoo to the throttle pedal, and on Anglesesy’s fast, sweeping, corners, the slightest change in the position of your right foot—I mean, the merest whiff of a millimeter of travel—and the nose will suddenly widen, tighten, widen, tighten. Its like a lesson in 911 chassis dynamics, exaggerated for the sake of classroom clarity. And its that sensitivity, combined with the film of water on the track, that makes you pause for thought before you go long with your right leg, and extend the 3.6 liter twin turbo flat six and its 522bhp. There’s no stamping or yanking today—it is all about fingers, tippy toes and buttocks.

SUBARU IMPREZA STi

The Impreza’a biggest crime is its styling. Previously STi may have been ugly but their grotesqueness was part of their allure. They had charisma, the appeal of their ballistic pace heightened by their visual oddness. The Impreza is impossibly bland. Even in fahkinhell 296bhp type UK spec it looks eminently forgettable. And, after the Impreza lineage that went before, many will find its generic hatchback style almost insulting. Let’s hope the man who signed off the design has since had his hands flattened by a stemroller to prevent him form ever going near a marker pen again. This mundane styling is a pity because the STi goes damn hard and fast and still possesses that ability to cover ground for more quickly than seems physically possible. Around Lahore, it feels just like a fast Subaru should. The disconcertingly light steering that initially feels vague and detached is anything but, its pinsharp and talkative-not as chatty or as attention seeking as the EVO’s agreed, but its still the next best thing to putting your hands on the road. The boxer burble may need a cupped ear to be heard but that’s incredibly smooth and relentless elastic band snap of acceleration the catapults you forward is still there, allied to a chassis with superb balance and grip.

Punt the Scoby into the a tight bend, get on the juice early and you can feel the torque sensing electromagnetic centre differential working with the front and rear limited slip diffs to haul you out of the corner and onto the next as quickly as possible. At the speed there’s a lovely machined feel to put the gearshift, the firmly damped suspension is ideally calibrated, the pedals are perfectly placed for fast footwork, the brakes are whole package feels honed and integrated. And, of course, form the driver’s seat you can’t see how drab it looks. It’s also refined, comfortable and smooth enough to make motorway travel a doddle.

MITSUBISHI EVO-X

The Evo X may have come over all urbane with its new sheetmetal, but don’t be fooled- its still raw, an incorrigibly edgy handful that feels truculent ay any speed below flat-out. Get into the Mitsubishi and you instantly feel genetically programmed to set new speed records. Around the track, both cars are eye-wideningly brisk but it’s the 354bhp Evo that easily feels the faster. That engine may be new from crank to camshaft, but nothing has changed because its still muscular and rangy-and still coarse and gruff. There’s no red-line aural treat, but that matter less when there’s so much muscle to spear along the track. The X has that on-the-go stance no other car can match- that of being both tied down and on tiptoes, riveted to the road but ready to change direction with neck-straining immediacy. And it’s just so fast. Don’t underestimate the entertainment value of a tinny family car that can breathe hotly on the collar of a Porsche 911. Like the Impreza, the Evo feels like a precise machine, with many parts- positive gearshift, powerful brakes, superb steering- working seamlessly together. But while the gearshift quality is sweet and precise, who the hell wants to lash out more than 35 grand on a car with just five forward gears? Even a Vauxhall Corsa comes with a six-speed ‘box for goodness’ sake.

That final gear wouldn’t be so badly missed if the five in there weren’t so short- brilliant at keeping the engine buzzing at its 6500rpm power peak around Anglesy, not so brilliant when an 80mph motorway cruise equates to a raucous 4000rpm. The Evo has all the Impreza’s lightning pace and sublime dynamics, but it also has the ballsy presence and attitude to suit- and you will spot what the Impreza lacks every time one drives by. That’s why Mitsubishi wins.